National Association of Responsible Loan Officers

By Jay Gubrud

There are four major fears we face as human beings: 1) the unknown, 2) failure, 3) rejection and 4) success.

Humans have a puzzling relationship with the unknown. We like it; think about adventures and receiving gifts. Yet we dislike the unknown; when we’re planning an event and we don’t know how many people will show up. With all the control factors we have at our disposal today, it can be refreshing to let the unknown reveal itself. Have confidence in yourself and know that you will succeed in the unknown. Surround yourself with intelligent and knowledgeable people who will help you succeed.

To avoid failure, create options. For example, when my fiancé and I were looking for wedding locations, my fiancé became a little fearful we would not find the right place. She was getting stressed because some locations wouldn’t work due to being already booked, size, cost, etc. To ease her fears, we worked extensively at finding other locations (options). We ended up finding the perfect location because we didn’t get fearful and limit our options. If you have options then your mindset is not, if we can accomplish this. It becomes, how we are going to do this. This is a great attitude at work and for the association.

Rejection has a bad rap, because many people don’t know how to properly give or receive rejection. They don’t posses the skills to effectively communicate feedback. Feedback is healthy; it allows us to redirect our behavior. Don’t forget to consider the source of the feedback. Those who try to build people up know how to communicate in a way that makes rejection constructive.

The most amazing fear is the fear of success! The reason is that we can become so used to struggling and surviving that it is difficult to realize that we have succeeded! Learn to be happy with your self, career and family. Enjoy the imperfections and idiosyncrasies of others and ourselves. Success means there are new expectations placed on us. We have to perform at higher levels, and if we fall from that pinnacle, it is a lot further down. Knowing that you have built a solid foundation over time to achieve that success, the likelihood of falling or not being able to maintain is small. Move past the mindset of getting by or sabotage!

Without risk there is no pay off! We must take a step back to make a leap forward. Sometimes it involves our pride, looking like a fool trying something new. Sometimes it means making a financial commitment for capital equipment or personnel. Other times it requires changing roles, asking for help when you are the one used to providing it. We cannot make even small leaps without taking risks and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. None of us learned to walk as children without falling and getting a few bumps and bruises.

What is your roadblock to new possibilities: mindset, expectations, perfectionism, fear or risk? Don’t be overwhelmed by change, just take it one small change at a time! If you continually make adjustments, you will find your progress and ultimately your success!

Changing your behavior or the culture of your organization must meet three criteria.

Too often I see people committing to changing their situation but lack control over the situation. A great example was when a client of mine said they would get a membership to a gym once things slowed down at the office. I don’t know about you, but my office doesn’t ever slow down. As a result she was sabotaging changing her behavior.

Change does not come easy. We are creatures of habit. When I speak at a conference I ask the audience, "Who is sitting next to someone they know?" Of course a majority of people raise their hand. How many people enter a room and look for strangers to sit next to? Very few! One example of committing to new behaviors was a couple that went to a conference and a big objective was to network and make connections. To make that happen they committed to sitting apart from each other and meeting new people. We have to be committed to our new goal or changes, without it we can expect the same old results! These changes will be uncomfortable for a while but will become normal in time.

A heart attack victim must go through trauma to find a good enough reason to change their eating and exercise habits. It doesn’t have to be traumatic if you find a good enough reason early on.

If what you want to change meets all three criteria then your chances of success are extremely high! It may not happen in a day or week, but if it is within your control, you are committed and have found a good enough reason … you WILL succeed in a reasonable time frame!

About the Author:

For over eight years, Jay Gubrud has helped corporations, associations, their boards and members eliminate roadblocks to their success. His theme is very unique and one everybody can relate to - Cars and Driving! Jay's articles on performance improvement have been in numerous publications nationwide. You can reach Jay at www.jaygubrud.com and 651-635-9939.